Lately I’ve been visualizing my daughter as dried grass in my hands. You know the kind you rake up as you sit in the grass on a summer’s day. As I hold the grass in my open hand the wind takes it away. Blows it away. Lately this is how I’m seeing my time with my girl. Fleeting. I mean she was just born like yesterday and now she dresses herself, goes on play dates (without me), feels just a little embarrassed if I kiss her in front of her friends. The days of crafting and coloring and preschool field trips are close to an end. I take comfort in knowing that I’m not the only mother who’s felt this way. But it’s hard, really hard
I’ve been toying with the idea of getting rid of technology. I find that I get sucked into Facebook, and blogs, and amazon. I feel annoyed if I’m interrupted and what mama doesn’t get interrupted. I take care of needs, but don’t stop and really take care of needs. I want to stop and look my girl in the eye and see what she needs. I want to be fully available to my family. And technology gets in the way.
I realize I can’t get rid of technology. It’s here to stay and it is a main source of communication, I need it for my job. I can’t get rid of it but I can certainly limit it. I’ve been reading … Hand Free Mama: A Guide to Putting down the Phone, Burningthe To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! ByRachel Macy Stafford. Rachel has a plan for us over stressed, technology driven mamas. She found that letting go of distractions like phones and Facebook freed up her time to focus on things that were important to her. She has some helpful tips to get us started. She recommends not tossing technology out the window, but rather starting small. She suggests turning off the radio in the car. I’ve started doing this and I’ve started listening to my little girl singing quietly in the back. Such a sweet sound that I was missing. Better than Justin Bieber any day. J